Fight, You Irish, Fight!

Ancient Guardian’s grandmother (would be around 120 if she was still alive) said that a lot. It was her standard response to arguments within the family. An Irish family. It was her way of saying they were fighting over trivialities instead of a real problem. It was not an encouragement to continue the fight, it was a disparagement. She had no regard for petty arguments blown out of proportion.

I relate that tidbit of information to introduce the thoughts that I have been having about the current tendency on social media to do things like language policing and gatekeeping. The tendency to say who is or is not gay. Who can use what words to describe their way of perceiving their experiencses.

“Stimming is a word for autistics only!” (Yup, some people actually said this!)

“No one can talk about spoon theory unless they have a chronic illness!” (this too! Actual people said it!)

“Only people approved by me can claim to be gay!” (hyperbole, in case it wasn’t obvious).

And the latest one “Special Interest is reserved for autistics.” (in spite of the term being used long before autism was even described in literature).

Then we get to “people with invisible disabilities suffer more than people with physical ones”. It requires a great deal of effort to fail to see how much society disables the physically disabled, but there are people willing to make that effort rather than look outside. We can be “different from them”.

Should we add “autism is not a mental illness, it’s just a different neurology” so we can throw the people who have “real” mental illness into the group of people that it is okay to stigmatize but keep us autistics safe.

“She’s not gay, she’s ace. She doesn’t need help from LGBT services, she can pass as straight.”

Keep adding separating terminology. Insist that no one can talk to us in words we understand. Don’t let them understand the words we use. Fight with each other instead of the things that cause us problems, it’s easier.

Fight, You Irish, Fight! While the English kill off your neighbors. The people who might have been able to help you survive if you hadn’t turned them into enemies.

It’s not the Irish and English now, but the effects are the same.

Divide and conquer still works. And it’s coming from within.

 

A Non-Verbal Learns Things

(related to A Non-Verbal’s Thoughts)

I learn a lot from the world around me.

Like, when I get mad it’s okay to scream and yell, because you scream and yell at me when you are mad. Being angry means scream and yell a lot.

Hitting people that are doing something you don’t like is how you make them stop. Yanking them around works, too, if they are smaller than you. I can hit you with my head because it is hard and makes you stop. Some day maybe my hands will be big and hard enough to hit you when you are doing things I don’t like.

Throw their toys if they are paying too attention to them. I can make your cell phone go really far. Like the way you made my sand sculpture break against the wall because I was looking at it too long. I really liked my sand sculpture. I don’t like your cell phone.

People are allowed to touch me whenever they want, however they want. If I try to pull away and let them know that I don’t like being touched there I will be hit.

Torturing people is normal. Offer them things they want, then take them away again because something. I don’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with what you want that I did not understand. Maybe it’s just because making me cry makes you happy. You cry when I start to kiss you and then pull away. It makes me giggle that I can do the same things you can do.

Doing things that make me feel comfortable is bad. I will be held down, or even tied, if I move too much. Or if I try to get away from being hit. Or if you want to talk on your phone a long time and don’t want to take care of me. Waving my arms will get me slapped and tied down. I guess it’s a bad thing, but I can’t help it.

Natural bodily functions are not okay. Pooping and peeing will get me punished, even though I cannot control them. My diaper is for something else. I haven’t found what that is, yet, since every time it gets used I get punished and made to sit on the giant white thing that wants to suck me in until I scream.

Walking is bad. Skipping is bad. Running is bad. I don’t know why they are bad, but I know they are because I get slapped on the legs when I do them. Sometimes I am allowed to walk if I don’t stand on my toes, but that is too hard.

I learned that something is wrong with me. When I want to see the people that come to the house you put me in my room so they don’t see me. Unless you want to complain about me. I can hear that tone in your voice when you parade me in front of them with a dirty diaper instead of changing it. The way you put your hand over my mouth when I giggle and try to say hello. I know you are ashamed of me for not being able to say it.

Little non-verbal people are burdens, big non-verbal people are a curse and a danger. I’m not really sure what these things mean, but I can tell from how I am treated that they mean something bad.

I learned that I do not belong in this world. You let me know every day how hard life is for you because of me.

My First WordPress Post!

Firstly – I am not abandoning tumblr. I do not believe tumblr is passing away anytime soon. I am writing from other sites because tumblr has become too difficult to use. The random audio ads, flashing gifs when a blog is not found or other random reason cause my head to get messed up. So I need to use a lot of scripts and tools to block the things and it slows down the interface so much that even I have to wait for it to respond (regular readers of me know that I do not use words naturally and so read and type slowly). That is slow!

I still read and reblog and comment and answer asks and stuff on tumblr.

SO! For original posts I is here on WordPress and crossposting to the places that people expect to see my random babbles. The good news for some people is that they will only see the first few lines of my babbles and not be subjected to the whole thing if they don’t want to be. The bad news is you have to click the link in the article to get directed here to see the whole thing. Some people don’t like that (even me) but as long as tumblr makes it hard for autistic people to avoid sensory overload it’s the way it is.

As usual, I will probably restrict the stuff I crosspost to tumblr to be related to autism. The other sites will still be subject to my stories and pictures and other babblings of inconsequence.

Now you is getting tired of the babbles and fussings about tumblr, I’m sure. To the updates of what I been doing since I haven’t been making new posts lately.

I have made new connections for experimenting – you can look for Lysikan on other sites such as soup.io and imzy. I don’t know how much I will use them – depends on what I find there. I put some pics on soup.io so far. We shall see.

ANYWAYS, that is the update. Thank y’all for reading my blather and continuing to follow through my relative silence and the (tiny?) tantrum over tumblr’s audio blasts.

Sorry

I’m probably leaving tumblr. @staff has launched a full-on attack on autistic people with their latest autoplay ads that pop up at random, and actively worked to bypass XKit’s attempts to help us.

Sudden blasting sounds and lights are harmful to more than autistic people. @staff‘s intentional assault on us shows they do not want us here.

I will continue to post on medium.com and dreamwidth.

I have sent a support request to tumblr @staff asking them to stop doing that poop, but since they take days to respond to support, I don’t have much hope that they will do anything.

For now I’ll keep muting the tab and reading, but … I don’t think they will care as I don’t give them moneys.

Do you think autistic children would do well in a Montessori school?

I don’t know. The looser style of teaching might help some, but the looser structure would be hard for others. The thing with autistics is that we are all different. 

While “social interaction difficulties” is one of the main criteria for autism diagnosis, it doesn’t specify what kind of difficulties. Some autistics are overly gregarious – friendly to the point of scary. Some are – I don’t have a word for it – avoidant of personal contact – to the point of screaming and running if anyone else is near them (that’s me).

There is a thing that people keep saying “once you’ve met one autistic … you’ve met one autistic.”

There is a reason for that saying that people miss. (I don’t know how they miss the meaning, but they do.) We are as diverse as not-autistics.

Take your time evaluating the school and the child, watch the interactions. If it isn’t the right fit, pull the child out. If the school doesn’t allow observation, pull the child out.

Pay attention to the child. The school doesn’t matter, the child does.

Someone sent an ask asking if it was okay to show my babblings to people to help them understand. I answered (or tried to) that yes – everything I post is PUBLIC – intended to help people understand autism, whether they are autistic, family of autistics, or just curious about autism from the point of a view of an autistic.

Of course tumblr ate the reply after deleting the ask so it never showed up and I can’t try again.

So – yes, you can reblog, link from other sites, and show to anyone.

My baby boy was just diagnosed with autism and something I am so afraid of is that he is not going to love me. Do autistic children feel love for their parents?

Yes! Even those of us that rarely/never say it. We still feel it. I don’t speak, so of course my mother never hears me say it – but she knows I love her.
Baby speaks but refuses to say anything that she thinks the other person should know, so refuses to tell her (abusive) mother that she loves her – but she does, very much.

There is also a wide range of traits making up autism, and from what I have read, the majority of autistics have no trouble telling their parents they love them.

The hardest thing for us is believing our parents love us, since so many of us are abused in the name of making us normal (I wasn’t, but my parents are the best in the world 😀 ).

Love your baby boy and he’ll love you.